“SIS [Sisters Inspiring Sisters] is a community of women joined together by amalgamated wisdom, tenacity and purpose!
SIS – there’s strength for the journey!”
I love the fellowship of women. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love being with and encouraging women and pastors wives. I want every woman to realize and recognize that no matter their journey to this current place, they are God’s special treasure.
SIS is an organization whose goal is to bring women together, young and old, churched and unchurched, for inspiration, motivation and support through life’s challenges. I have had the privilege of sharing in two gatherings and each one has been a blessing.
The theme of yesterday’s gathering was “Long Live the Queen.” I just want to share some thoughts:
“I see you!” It is easy to only see the exterior of a person, to note the physical appearance with no thought as to what that individual might be going through. When women come together, there is the potential for the shedding of the facade to share challenges and dreams. Our goal should be to declare to our SisterGirlFriends, “I see you,” in such a way that she understands that we acknowledge not only her presence, but we also want to link arms and hearts with her for this journey called life.
I hear that the queen, in the game of chess, is a powerful piece since she is the only piece that can move in any direction. Those who play chess can appreciate the advantage of the queen. But, let us imagine that this inanimate object becomes aware, alive, for just a few minutes during a game of chess. “She,” the queen may revel in her power in that moment, but she may also realize that her power is not one she wields, but it is one that is wielded over her. “She,” the queen is under the control of another. Though she is powerful, she is also powerless.
Women, too often, feel powerless, controlled by the whims and demands of others. The power of being ME is overwhelmed by the demands of others, to be who they want us to be. Too many women have not defined themselves, have not discovered their own voices. Too many of us have allowed others to name us, and when we allow others to name us, we have to answer to that name.
One of the speakers said, “We have to see ourselves as God sees us.” How does God see us? Well, He sees us as fearfully and wonderfully made. He sees us as peculiar, not as in weird, but as His own special treasure. We must now ask ourselves, how do we see ourselves?
Women come to a place with their own baggage, stuffed with all our challenges from our pasts. We carry the old tapes and take them out to play every now and then: “You will never be…..You will never have……You are not……You do not belong….” We carry the tattered and spoiled clothing of our past, patchworks garments of negativity that we, for some strange reason, cannot bring ourselves to throw away.
Here is my declaration: It is time to throw out the old tapes, time to make some new tapes. It is time to destroy those old clothes , time to put on some new clothes. None of this will happen, however, until we make up our minds that whatever we were in the past is not what we are today. It is time for us to stop telling the old stories of brokenness and degradation and abandonment and rejection. It time to sing a new song, dance a new dance and walk down the runway of life in our new clothes.
There is a word, self-actualization. I must take responsibility for the me I want to be. Too often I fall into the trap of doing, not because I want to do so, but because someone else is expecting me to perform. Time for that performance to end, time to fade to black and drop the curtain on that old ME. It is time for the one woman show of THE REAL ME, the me I am versus the me others want (or demand) me to be.
I read somewhere that the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, is devoted to duty. She knows her place; she knows her voice. She is unwavering in her focus and responsibility. She is regal and confident.
Well, I may not have been born into the monarchy, but I can be devoted to ME; I can define my place; I can know my voice. I can be unwavering in focus and responsibility. I can be regal and confident. It may take a while for me to get to this place, but if this is my goal, then I will get to this place and I will get to it with a new view of ME.
As the Queen over the kingdom of ME, I have a responsibility, an assignment: 1) To know my strengths and my weaknesses, and 2) To develop my voice.
Food for thought:
-Your history had an impact in your development; it does not have to define who you are today
-Your past is your past and it has passed (that’s why it’s called the past), it should not dictate your actions or reactions today.
-Your yesterday does not seal your tomorrow; work on who you want to be today.
-Pursue that dream without apology, but also without vanity or arrogance. Not sure of the dream? What is your passion? Or, as one speaker said, whose tears affect you?
-Find a safe friend, a confidante who will not only encourage you but one who will also check you when you are wrong. Not sure where to find that person? Who do you admire at work? At church? In your social circles? Ask them if they will walk with you, be a mentor. What do you have to lose? You stand a fifty-fifty chance of Yes or No. If they say “Yes,” you gain. If they say “No,” you lose nothing since the relationship was never in place anyway.
-Do not compare yourself to others. Face it, there will always be someone richer, prettier, smarter, younger, etc. Since there is only one you, just do you! Make it your goal to be the most excellent you you can be.
-“No” is not a dirty word. It may not be what others want to hear, but sometimes “No” has to be your final answer. Besides, they’ll get over it and you will be freed from doing anything which has the potential to burden you with resentment.
One of the speakers asked an “Ah ha,” question: “What is the distance between where you are and your life purpose?” Okay, so what is that distance and what do you need to do to get to where you want to be? What is stopping you? Don’t you think it’s time to get over whatever that stop is so that you might begin to get closer to your goal, your life purpose, your divine appointment?
Remember, the Queen does not make excuses; she makes the rules. Can you be the Queen over the kingdom of You?
A few years ago, I discovered THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Miguel Don Ruiz; though their origin is not based in Christianity, I think they are applicable for anyone who is struggling to discover their purpose in life. I share them with you for your personal consideration:
The Four Agreements
“Everything we do is based on agreements we have made – agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth.”
“In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible.”
1)Be impeccable with your word 2)Don’t take anything personally 3)Don’t make assumptions 4)Always do your best
Write the Vision; visualize it; talk about it; map it; chart your course.
Finally, color outside the lines, sometimes!
LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!
Always remember: A Woman’s place is in the will of God!